If I'm Ugly- You Smell!
Ze TSWiki Arcade 25 If I'm Ugly - You Smell!
Game TimeSplitters 2
League Elite League
Section Duel Meaning
Mode Elimination
Map Mexican Mission
Character Jared Slim
Enemies Encountered Mikey Two-guns
Rewards Silver: Mikey Two-guns
Gold: Jared Slim
Medal Requirements Bronze: 1st
Silver: 1st and 3 lives
Gold: 1st and 4 lives
Platinum: 1st and 5 lives

If I'm Ugly - You Smell! is a TimeSplitters 2 Arcade League match. It is a one on one fight where the reward is based on how many lives you have remaining at the end.


Mikey told Jared that his centre parting made him look like a water buffalo, so then Jared told Mikey that he smelt like one. There's only one way to settle a difference of opinion out West - a good ol' shootout! Yeehaw! Get your guns!


In this arcade match its just you up against Mikey Two-Guns. The only two weapons available are the Garrett Revolvers x2 and just the plain old Garrett revolver. Mikey has high stamina and takes around five hits to take down while you take about two. When you begin the mission head over to the open area near the water fountain. Grab the Garret revolver that's located in front of the two small buildings. Then turn around and face the large building. Mikey will pop out either from the bottom windows or the door on the far left. While he's far away quickly shoot him as many times as you can. If you are lucky he will die but if not he will charge towards you. Go near the fountain and keep going moving around and circles. Mikey will keep shooting at you but if you keep moving he will keep missing. When he reloads his gun quickly shoot him down and grab is double revolvers. Killing Mikey should be easy now. If you get lucky Mikey may run away from you unarmed. You should quickly chase him and shoot him down before he gets to a weapon spawn.

  • Alternative strategy, will give platinum. Go down into the cellar & get the double Garretts, then guard this position so Mikey can't get them. Wait for him while continuously moving to keep looking in the 2 directions he can come from (run over the gun position, look around one corner, go back over the gun position look around the other corner etc). If you have maximum ammo (both guns full plus 68 spare bullets) fire a shot so you can pick up the double gun as soon as it appears so Mikey can't get it. When he arrives pump the fire button while dodging from side to side so you get hit less. Pick up the guns he drops so they're not there for him if he has no gun next time he comes along.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.